Spamalot! and NOT the musical! - J. Kenner

Spamalot! and NOT the musical!

Okay, folks.  Time to check out your spam folders.  You just may be a winner!

Mr. Wang Shu, for example, wants me to keep his proposal top secret. Apparently, he would like me to contact him about “details as regards to the transfer
of $6,500,000.00 to you. This money initially belongs to
a client who died and had no next of kin in his account-opening
package.” Man, that poor client. And $6.5M to open an account. And now I have the chance to have all that money transferred to me. I’m overwhelmed. Truly. By Wang the wanker’s generosity.

Mr. Charles Brown, Esq. was more, um, thorough in his vetting of me before offering to send me the big bucks:

I am Mr. Charles Brown, a Canadian attorney based in United Kingdom .I am reaching out to you in respect of an investment opportunity.

I am soliciting your assistance in repatriating the funds and property left behind by my late client before it is declared unserviceable by the bank where the huge deposit is lodged and confiscated by the government.

On the 3rd day of January 2004, my client and his wife along with their two children were among the victims of Boeing 737 Egyptian Airliner that crashed into the Red Sea. You can read more about the crash by visiting this website:

Do note that your identity or country of origin does not matter. I will give you more information upon your response.

If this proposal is acceptable to you, kindly email your following information to me:

A. Private telephone and fax numbers.
B. Your postal/residential address.
C. Identification/Occupation.

Yes, indeed, Mr. Brown, sir. I’ll be getting right on that.

Of course, not all my spam is financial. There’s quite a bit of medical related spam, too: Apparently I can get codeine and viagra without a prescription (presumably, having one doesn’t mean you require the other), and if I really, really want, I have just a whole multitude of options for enlarging my penis. (I’ll be getting right on that, too….)

Then again, some are slightly intriguing. Emery Cat, for example (yes, my cat could do with having her nails trimmed). And the Mystery Shopper spam. I could be a mystery shopper. Oh, yes. I could….

And the spam that really cracks me up: the messages from myself. Legit messages that I’ve bcc’d myself on. Hello? THAT’s spam?

So how about y’all? What’s your funniest spam message? Most persistent? Most freaky? This post originally appeared at The Whine Sisters.  Recycled post, just like recycled ham product!   Pop over there and check out what’s going on today!

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