Judy Teel joins me today to talk about what we all need advice for at one time or another : love! She’s got some great insights on choosing that perfect someone…so read on!
Five Ways to Find True Love
(or make what you have even better)
I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, but I’ve enjoyed life here on Earth for more decades than I might want to admit, and I’ve picked up a few things along the way about relationships. With Valentine’s Day just behind us and Easter approaching, what better time to talk about five key aspects to finding, or keeping, true love in your life?
The cornerstone to a good relationship revolves around one thing…
Tip #1 – Who a person is doesn’t change.
My grandmother used to say, “The older you get, the more you become like you are.” Resist starting a serious relationship until you know if a person is wired in a way that’s similar to you. Then once you’re in a relationship, don’t waste your time trying to change the other person. Ain’t gonna happen. Let it go, or move on.
So, before bringing anyone into you life, know who you are first because…
Tip #2 – The best relationships are built on things you have in common.
Friendships form when we have things in common. Romantic relationships are no different. When you share common interests and philosophies with your love interest, you not only have things to talk about, but you also have things to do. You both love to travel? Yay! Let’s book a flight. You both love opera. Excellent. Get season tickets, enjoy the shows and chat for hours about it afterwards. When you know what you like, you know what to look for in a partner. You also know where to look for a partner. Here’s a bonus tip: Clubs involving your hobbies will be made up of other people who have similar interests and personalities—a great place to find love!
Knowing yourself also means realizing that you’re not perfect. Understanding that leads to…
Tip #3 – Expect your partner to have some flaws.
Everyone has quirks, lets stupid words come out of their mouths, and forgets something important occasionally. There’s a lot to be said for the psychological phenomena known as seeing what you want to see, if applied correctly. If all the biggies are covered (your mate or potential mate is kind, loving, thoughtful, responsible, likes the same leisure activities as you, etc.), ignore the small stuff. In fact, go one better than that and focus only on the good stuff. When you think of that person, talk about them or interact with them, focus on the traits that you love and admire. The more you do that, the more good stuff you’ll see and the happier your relationship will be.
Understanding that everyone has flaws means being willing to think outside the box in a relationship. And that means…
Tip #4 – Embrace a flexible attitude.
In tip number one, I pointed out that who a person is doesn’t change over the course of their lives. Unfortunately, almost everything else does. A perfect example of this is having children. Adding babies to the relationship mix changes everything about your life and the life of your partner. Energy levels, physical appearance, time to be together…it all shifts around.
Keeping a flexible attitude means cutting yourself and your partner some slack. Nothing lasts forever. Kids grow, jobs come and go, and so will that extra five around the middle. Take practical measures if you need to and refer to tip number three. If your partner snores, buy ear plugs. If he’s overweight, learn to cook healthy meals or ask him to go for a walk with you every evening.
Doing your best to keep a broad perspective ultimately means…
Tip #5 – Treasure what you have.
Life can change in an instant for better or worse. At this time of year when every store is swathed with pink hearts, eggs, and bunnies, use them to remember that in this tired old world, love is a precious commodity. When you find it, treasure that experience and your loved one to the fullest.
Judy Teel is the author of contemporary romance and paranormal mystery novels. Her current book Deceiving an Heiress, is now on Kindle!
See her Amazon Author Page here!
Much thanks to Judy for her blog post, and happy hunting out there!